Letter to Master (M/s)

Dear Master,

I am not writing this is an effort to try and place blame for our recent misunderstanding but to try and help yo understand how i operate, so that I may serve you better. If you understand the way i work and my needs and I learn better the way you work and your needs then both of us will be able to function better as a result of that understanding.

I'm not trying to top from the bottom, I am trying to find a place of deeper understanding in our relationship. I acknoweldge that when I talk about the energy or feeling of something that it is not something that you understand instinctively and I want to try and help you learn what I mean.

How do I explain that wanting to be treated more as a slave and not a girlfriend yet want more affection (not sex) is not a contradiction?

How do I explain energy and feeling and how the energy of something changes the feeling of something completly.

I guess its about intent. When you kiss me or hug me I feel like your your intent is to show me you love me and while I need love I sometimes need affection that show's ownership more then I need affection that shows that you love me. The intent of an action changes the energy and feeling of an action. The every day rules and rituals are great they are the bread and butter, they are things I/we need to exist but some days I want more, I want chocolate mousse. I want to be reminded of my place with a look, a command a kiss or a touch. I want to feel when you are kissing or hugging me that it is not a moment we are sharing together but it you making a physical show of your ownership of me and ability to do what you want when you want. When we watch TV together I want to feel as though it is you choice to do this activity and that it is a privledge that you are granting me to be allowed to do it with you not just an everyday activity.

As a slave I need to feel like I am being useful, I need you to give me orders so that I can feel that I am serving you and not just doing everything off my own back. I love it when you order me to get you a drink and serve it on my knees. I may sometimes get annoyed with havng to stop what I am doing to follow your orders but deep down I thrive of this attention and crave it. I don't want to be able to say in a moment or just let me finish this, when you want something I want to feel the urgency of having to serve and please my Master and know that consequences will follow if I am not quick enough. I want to be permited/ordered to kiss your feet to show you the depth of my submission and affection for you and not just show you that I love you with a hug or a kiss.