What I want atm. (M/s)

Master and I have time planned to scene tonight and I am really looking forward to it, my brain of course is running through all the evil things that he could do me and I find myself getting excited and a little nervous but trying to hold it back because if it doesn't happen I don't want to be dissapointed.

Time changes things and between now, having dinner and starting play what I want may change and right now I am being a bad slave and not thinking about what Master may want but hey my blog my right... right? I could list so many scene ideas that excite me but you know what i'm not going to, I am going to focus more of the emotional side of needs not the actaul practical tie me up, flog me, have sex with me type needs.

I want not just a scene but hours of 'play' that will allow me to bring out my inner slave and embrace her in a way I have not for some time.

I wish that I had done up that list of formal rules that Master asked me for weeks ago because if we had those all agreed upon I would want the formal rules activated the moment we have the house to ourselves. While part of me may hate them and resist them they are what makes me feel more of a slave.

I want to be given a chance or two to resist Master so that he has to put me in my place, so that I can feel both the physical and emotional control exerted over me and feel that connection that comes out of knowing that he can do what ever he wants to me and order me to do what ever he wishes.

I want to feel controlled, used, in my place but loved and secure in my trust for Master at the same time.

I want time to play or scene, to have something new happen rather then just the safe things that we have been doing for a while now. I want a scene where I don't know what to expect next, where I am kept on my toes and pushed to the limit but not over it.

I want a night (or a weekend) where I can just let go at last and be me, not the student that has to get good grades, not the daughter that is always there to lend a helping hand and advice, not the sister who worries about the choices her brother is making or the friend who is always there to listen to the latest rants of the day and give advice and support. I don't even want to be the girlfriend right now I just want the simplicity of being nothing more then a slave to the man that I love, serve and call Master.

Ra'anna