What I want

So I have been asked to do another post this time on a particular topic. The topic for this post is what do I need/want right now.

Lets see what do I need, what do I want. On a normal day to day vanilla level I need security and stability, I need to feel like the place I live is my home not just somewhere I am staying.

I need to add more fresh fruit and vegetables to my diet as well as cutting back on coffee and dairy unless it is lactose free. Perhaps the best way to do this would be to buy myself some salad things and have a small amount with what ever we have for dinner every night. As well as having at least one glass of V juice a day for a little more fruit and vegetable intake.

I need people to understand that I am an introvert and part of being an introvert is that I tend to feel drained when I am around people for too long and need to get back to my space to recharge. There are very few people that I can handle being in my space when I need to recharge but those people know who they are.I need to have time and space to myself to think, to rest, to meditate and to relax and reflect and not feel like like I am being antisocial or rude for taking this time and space. When I don't get this space and time I am exhausted and get major headaches. I need people to understand that me being distant or not feeling like being social is not because I dislike them or am upset with them its just that this is how I work and trying to force me to be social in a misguided attempt to overcome this 'problem' just makes it worse. I enjoy being socail, I enjoy interacting with peope and discussing the world with them, I enjoy playing games or going out but I get to a point where enough is enough and I have to step away from it and retreat back to my 'sanctury'

I need my finances to be better which means that I need to find at least a part time job, anything that I can get a little bit of extra money to help me get by paying the bills I need to pay as well as having enough money left over for things like text books.

I need to get myself a top sheet - Its getting to hot to sleep under the doona and when I don't I wake up with mossie bites driving me insane.

Now on to the D/s side of my life. What do I need right now?

I need to feel controlled and know my place. I need to feel that somebody wants me and know that I am a good slave who does deserve a good Master. I need to feel like I am wanted, like somebody wants to use me and that I can please them with my submission. I need someone that I can serve without hesitation, someone that I can trust and know that they are not going to hurt me or push me so far beyond what I can handle that they can not bring me back. I need someone willing to push my limits, willing to force me to do even the things that I don't particularly want to do.

Right now I crave a nice long scene where I can submit and be pleasing, something that pushes me and makes me feel and know my place in the world. For just a little while I want to feel like nothing more then an object or toy something for someone elses amusement. I want someone to break me down a little bit, not all the way, not completly just a little bit.