I can't wait until Master has found a new job and we have the money to move in to a place of our own. Sharing a house is okay when the people you are sharing with are lifestyle friendly but when we have to hide our relationship dynamic on a daily basis it starts to wear you down not to mention how frustrating it gets trying to find playtime. Today is a good example we have been home alone all day but can't do anything because we don't know when our housemate is due home all we know is that she doesn't have work today. We don't like doing a scene when we have no idea when people will be home because its highly frustrating to have to stop a scene when it has barely begun. Master could spend half an hour or more tying me up and then find that people get home just after he finishes and he has to untie me which leaves me frustated and dissapointed.
Life is going okay at the moment. We don't have much money which is stressful but we know that things will get better on that front soon. I have gone back to uni to do get my chemistry done in summer school and Master is searching for a job. He has two interviews on Friday so hopefully one of them will turn in to a job. We have spent a fair bit of time at the boys house in Coorparoo just hanging out. We may not have much money but at least we can get out for a little while and go and see friends or go to a Camarilla game.
My goal for today was to get my bedroom cleaned up but I don't think that I am going to get it completed. Its too humid so that after I spent a short amount of time cleaning I find myself covered in sweat and feeling icky. It is getting better slowely though.
I am feeling lonely at the moment. Master is upstairs on his laptop and I am downstairs in my room. It seems when ever we are home he is upstairs and i am downstairs. I don't understand why he must sit in the loungeroom upstairs on his laptop when he use to use it downstairs and be close to me. Perhaps he is just sick of me always being around. I just wish we could spend some time together, time thats not both of us doing things on our computers while in the same room together. I need to feel that he is spending time with me not with his computer.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
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