Today is the second Valentines day since we have been together and the second that we have/are ignoring. Last year Adam was too busy packing to move us out of a house that he had been told I was not to go back too and this year we just don't really have any money to do anything. I know that it shouldn't bug me after all isn't it more important to show love on every day of the year not just the one day set aside for it? Its not really skipping Vday thats bugging me though it's the lack of romance in my life. Sure he has bought me the odd bunch of flowers or chocolate (though never the romantic box of chocolates) but he has never done anything like scattering rose petals on the bed and filling to room with candles to make a romantic astmosphere. I guess its not even the romance thing that is bugging me consdiering that when I stop for a moment to think about what I would want more then anything else today its not exactly romance.
What would make the perfect Valentine's day for me? Having my Master back to himself and our 24/7 dynamic happening again. Having Master make me feel like a slave again, having him help me bring out that part of me that I have pushed away to survive the last two months. Having a day of high protocol and lot and lots of play and being used. Having a day where I really do feel like a slave though of course being valentine's day having small romantic twists on things like sensation play involving the use of a rose thorns or romantic candlelight using me as the candleholder, or a romantic dinner when I am bound to the chair and blindfolded, Master feeds me and bite by bite I savor the flavours as he makes me guess what I am eating, earning funishment when I guess wrong, and then he really tests me and pushes me harder then he ever has before but once that it over hehas me kneel and after being pushed and tested all day and proving myself worthy we have a private intimate collaring ceremony where he presents me with a beautiful silver collar that has been made to fit me perfectly and that I can wear all of the time. After he has placed the collar around my neck he helps me up from the floor and before i know what is happening he goes down one one knee and holds out a single red rose to me as he proposes, when I take the rose I find my engagement ring nestled in the centre of the flower.
See i am a hopeless romantic but its much much more then romance that I am craving. I am craving that collar around my neck and ring on my finger, making me his both his slave and his wife to be and making me feel like I am special and deserving of his love and control. Letting me know that I am the slave he wants because he has trained me to what he wants and that I am a good slave not the bad one I often think that I am.
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