Saturday, June 13, 2009

To be a slave again M/s

I think that I am entering sub frenzy again. This afternoon Master scened with with me a little, he paddled me and had me bring him to climax before he shaved my pussy. Its amazing how vunarable that position makes me feel, on my back with my legs spread while Master shaves me I know that I am really his and know that I am slave. It was good to do some stuff again but theres a little voice inside of my screaming for more. I don't want this to stop, I don't want to go back to normal life and normal rules I want more and more and stricter and stricter.

I want him to treat me mean so to speak, want him to make me kneel while he watches TV or does what ever he wants to do, want him to make me serve him, make him drinks and what ever else he wishes and have him start training me to present them in proper slave gor like fashion. I want to feel the leather of the collar wrapped around my neck and even around my wrists knowing that at any time he may restrain me quickly and easily just because he feels like it. I want him to put high protocol in place and maintain it, I want him to treat me as a slave and objectify me as just an object for his entertainment. I don't just want to sit and watch a movie but rather be restrained and gagged so that i can not interrupt with my usual chatted during his movie or forced to lie at his feet like nothing more then a favored pet while we watch a movie. I don't want to go back to life with just a handful of rules but really made to feel and know that I am really a slave again.

Take one Master, one slave mix and you have D/s

It has been far to long since I last posted in this blog but here I am again. The last few months have been fairly quiet on the home front, Master has been back at work fulltime and I had to drop out of uni due to my severe morning sickness. Also as a result of my morning sickness our D/s life has suffered as I have just not been up to doing anything. Morning sickness is getting better now and as a result Master and I have decided to do our best at picking up our lifestlye again and just doing what we can to work around pregnancy issues.

I don't think that either of us have been really happy with the lack of D/s in our life. Its not just the lack of play for me but the lack of dynamics, the lack of structure and the horriable feeling of me being in control of everything when its suppose to be Master in control of things. Now its time to pick things up and try to get back to our dynamic and to be honest I don't want to do it slowely. Right now I need to feel like a slave again and the best way to make me feel like a slave is to run high protocol rules and be strict and almost mean to me, to push me to my limits of serving and really let my mind click over to the fact that I am first and foremost a slave and that serving my Master in my first prioirty not doing what i want to do and serving Master around my wants.

I have been having a lot of scene related dreams of late. Some fairly soft others fairly hardcore. Some with particular fetishes of mine that embarress me and tie in to the humilation side of things such as diaper play. Its been interesting waking up in the morning after those dreams and trying to turn off the side of me that wants to be treated hard and mean.

There's not much more to say right now so I will leave this here and hopefully come back with more in the near future.