Friday, September 28, 2007

A desire to be used

I'm feeling very alone tonight but I know that being alone is something that I have to get use to now. I've never liked being alone for too long its why I have always had housemates. Housemates make good company when you are alone though sometimes even when surrounded by people you can still feel alone. There are many things that can make one feel alone sometimes it is mental sometimes it is a physical thing. Tonight for me I think it is both. Tonight it is my desires, the things that I am craving that are making me feel alone and they make me feel alone because I know it will be a while before I can have those needs meet.

So what are those needs and desires? Right now I want for just one night to feel as though I belong to someone, as though there is nobody else in the world but me and them. I imagine myself kneeling at their feet with my head in their lap while they absent mindely stroke my hair. Just as I think I could go to sleep like that they grap me and pull me up my hair throwing me against the wall where they pin me with both their physical and mental strength and whisper words of dominance and control in my ear. I know that they have me and for this moment nothing else exists I am theirs to do what they wish with. They make me feel pain and pleasure, they bind me tight so that I can not run or push them away, I am gagged until my mouth is needed and a blindfold plunges my world in to darkness heightening their every touch and every sound. They push me to my limits but never crossing them. They play with my mind as much as my body under their touch, by their words I tremple in anticipation and desire nothing more then an object, nothing more then property a toy for their pleasure and when they are finished using me in every way they desire we drift of in to a peaceful fufilled satisfied sleep to dream our dreams of another play session some time in the future.

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