Feeling better (M/s)

After attending the party with Master last night I am actaully feeling better about everything in general. I feel more secure in my relationship then I did last week and am not resenting my ex's new girl anymore. I don't feel as though I am not good enough or that him being able to play with her easily is any reflection on me instead I know that him and I were just not right for each other, our needs were not the same as so we did not work, its no reflection on either of us just the way things are in this world. Now I am with Master AJ and my needs are met, our needs are compatable and because of that we might just work out. I don't want to look too far in to the future I don't want to think that perhaps this time this really will be 'the one' for me but maybe just maybe we will last and will make it together.

Playing with Master last night and today has been wonderful. I give up control to him to easily its not a struggle, not something that I have to fight and when I give it up I trust him completly. No longer do I have to hold a piece of myself back making sure that everything is safe and that I won't get hurt. Now I can give up control and submit fully and completly and its such a releif and feeling of freedom that I get from that. I had problems with my ex because he was too arrogant to ask for help or to think that he could be wrong about something but Master is not like that (mostly) he will ask for help and will usualy listen to someone elses ideas even if he doesn't like being wrong. I have an injury from my ex's inexpereince that will take a long time to heal and it has made it harder for me to trust that I won't get hurt again but I do trust Master.

I am worried about my Ex. He has recently started playing with a new girl who has very little experience and I worry that he may be pushing her too far to fast. Isn't the golden rule in the begining to always leave them wanting more not to push them to the point where they are in tears?

Ra'anna