Needs (M/s)

We have been in the new house for a little over two weeks now and while we still have some unpacking to do for the most part we are settled in here. Master and I have the back bedroom which in the biggest room in the house, had wooden floor boards and an airconditioner. I don't like the colour on the walls or the fact that it is the most run down room in the house but what I do like is the face that the back bedroom is far enough away that we can do what ever we want in without too much fear of making too much noise and disturbing the other people who live in this house.

I thought that once we got here that Master and I would do more scenes, play more but we haven't done much since we got here apart from flogging/caning scenes and sex. Yesterday we did something slightly different, he was a little harder on me and treated me more as I want to be treated in a scene but it was short and over very quickly. In the evening he treated me to a nice long massage which was great and felt really good but more then a massage I need more scenes, more training time, more time when he uses me as the slave that I am rather then treating me like I am just his beloved girlfriend.

How do we find a balance if he treats me as just a slave then I know I won't be happy because I need the emotional connection but when he treats me mostly as a girlfriend I am not happy because my slave side is not getting what it needs.

I want scenes where I am no more then an object, no more then his slave to do with as he pleases. I did scenes where he is rough with me, where he throws me to the ground or pushes me up against the wall and holds me there to remind me of my place. I need scenes where I am degraded and humilated just because he feels like it, scenes where I am tied up tight for long periods of time or where I am forced to kneel next to him head bowed for periods of time.

I hate needing anything.

Willow