Monday, May 12, 2008

Last nights play (M/s)

Master and I did play last night however it didn't go quite the way it was meant too. It started of great with Master getting me to kneel, play with my self and then bind my breasts but this is where things started going wrong. We had to break midscene as my best friend needed me and by the time we got back to the scene my mindset was completly broken. Master had me bind my breasts again and then place pegs on them which I did without any problems but it was when he started to cane me that I lost it and after a very short time he had to stop because it was clear to him that I couldn't take anymore. I curled up in a little ball and cried and cried, all I could thing was that I had failed and while Master was being gentle and loving and caring I didn't want him to touch me because I felt that I didn't deserve it.

Today I am still upset and dissapointed with myself. I don't know why I broke like that after so little much and really feel like I failed considering that Master had taken things out of MY fantasy and I couldn't do it. I feel like a bad slave and can't help but wonder why Master wants me and what good I am to him.

Ra'anna

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