Thoughts on this afternoon M/s

Master and I had to perform the discipline/punishment ritual this afternoon as a result of me being disrespectful and disobediant over the last 24 hours. I have to say that while it is not plesant to have to do that ritual the ritual really did help me focus on what it was I had done wrong (not that I hadn't spent half the day thinking about it) and atoning for my transgressions which I guess is the point of the ritual.

Master chose to cane me for my actions as well as having me write the essay is my previous post. The cane is something I hate and don't think I will ever grow to like and usualy by the time he has finished disciplining me with it I am in tears not just from the pain but from the release of guilt that I carry from dissapointing Master so much. Today was no exception by the time he finished caning me the tears were flowing and then I was shocked and a little confussed when he didn't just stop and hold me like he has in the past. No rather then stop he decided to choose that time to use me as a Master should use his slave, he had me suck his cock before he turned me around and plunged it into me and used me hard. It was in that moment that I had a moment of crystal clear clairity unlike anything I have had recently because in that moment it hit me that I am a slave, that I am there for Master's use regardless of how I am feeling or what I want and with that realization my tears kept flowing. When Master finished and asked me what was wrong I could not put that into words as my mind was such a whirlpool of confussion and shock so here I am now putting it into words for him here. Using me straight after he had punished me really did ram home the fact that I am nothing but his slave to use as he wishes and with that thought there is a little bit of comfort as well. I can't say that I enjoyed him using me like that but I will say that I am glad he did and that I hope he does in the future. I was lucky enough that when he had finished using me he allowd me to cum and then held me close to him afterward as we dozed together.