Some play and a first meeting

I wanted to submit, wanted to surrender, wanted to just let go for a while and not have to think and he gave me that on Saturday night. He seems to do it so easily, doesn't seem to even really have to think about it but to him being in control being Dominant seems to be as natural as being a slave is to me. Everytime I give up control to him or he takes it I find myself wanting to give up more. Everytime he has used me as a slave I find myself wanting to be used again, wanting to please and be found pleasing. Wanting to serve and submit. Why is it so easy for me to give him this control? Why is it so easy for me to let him do as he wishes with me, Why am I able to put no limits on myself, no limits on what he can do with me and trust that he won't push me too far?

Saturday night we were tired but he still managed to play with me, managed to use me and make me feel like a wanted slave. He tied me in a way that nobody ever had before wrists to my thighs and feet tied so that I couldn't stretch my legs out. I had two choices I could hold my legs together (until he pushed them apart) but it would put strain on my back and be uncomfortable or I could be relatively comfortable but be laying in a position where my legs where spread wide open ready to be used as he sees fit and there was nothing I could do about. I was blindfolded and gagged and the nipple clamps were used on me. For the first time I didn't hate the clover clamps so much, yes they hurt but I could handle the pain and almost enjoy it. Tied in that way being played with and bought to climax and not able to move away from his hands or anything else was amazing and my mind went to that special place that I like it being in so much.

The more I get the more I want. Even now today I want to be played with, want to feel like a slave, be used like a slave which is strange. Its the girly time of month usualy at this point I don't even want to be touched but right now I think I would submit to just about anything he wanted to do to me.

On another topic I met a gentleman yesterday that I had been talking to on Collarme. He has restored my faith that not everybody from that site is a creep that just wants me for my 'fuckholes' he was interested in my thoughts, what I think and feel about the world and most of our conversation was vanilla. He was old fasioned too and wouldn't let me pay for anything, not coffee and cake, not dinner and not icecream afterwards - oh and he also pulled out my chair for me. I know a lot of girls hate that old fashioned stuff but I have to admit I loved it. It is far to early to say if there would be any future with this guy yesterday was pretty much vanilla so I can't/havent seen what his Dominant/Master side is like yet but the vanilla side seems at first glance to be the fairytale... it also seems too good to be true something has to be wrong here. At the very least I may have a good new friend here anything else only time will tell.

To tell you the truth as nice as the guy I met was I still hope that one day Teacher will want to make me his.

Willow