Wow what can I say about the last few days? Not much really as I am still trying to get my head around it all. Shit broke out on Tuesday night about food of all things though it got bigger and blew up from there and for Master and I it really was the last straw. As soon as I woke up Wednesday morning I picked up my study bag threw some clothes in another bag and left detertimined that I would never go back to that house again. Truth be told I was willing to leave Master and move to Melbourne or Townesville if thats what was needed for me to have a roof over my head thankfully it didn't come to that and I sorted out somewhere for Master and I to move in too - My old home and currently the home of my closest friends so thats where I am now.
Unfortuantly Master is still back at the old place as his 'sister' guessed that we were moving out and lost it big time at him. He told me some of the things she said and they seem mostly to revolve around how bad I am for him, how he is my puppet (If only she really knew what sort of relationship we have and anyway Brad is more her puppet then I have ever seen someone be a puppet before talk about the pot calling the kettle) how I was only using him for his payout (hmmm funny that he had to fight with me almost everytime he wanted to buy me something because I didn't want him spending that money on me) Apprently I am a liar and what ever else she had to say that Master hasn't repeated back to me. Yes I am upset about all of this, a lot more then I am showing at the moment as I feel that I have to lock it all away so that I can focus on my exam preparation. I know that I tried my best, I know that I did what I could to give her advice, to support her when she was having a bad time, to help her around the house and with her son and to just be there as a friend but somewhere along the line she decided I was the worst person in the world and a liar and that hurts when I tried so hard to make it all work.
So anyway Master said some things back, told her partner the truth about her wanting to leave him and she stormed out. Somewhere in their conversation it was said that I am not welcome in her house anymore and thats fine with me because I never want to go there again. On Tuesday night I almost killed myself because she had pushed an old trigger in me, I managed to get through that urge but its going to be a while before I find my balance point again.
The good news out of it all though is that Master and I have a much healthier environment to live in and a house where we can play when ever we want regardless of if anyone else is home or not because the other two people that live in the house both have kinky sides of their own. I can start eating the way like to eat again as well as being able to cut out the foods that I am not meant to be eating such as wheat, dairy and soy.
Friday, February 15, 2008
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