So it seems that I am having issues about my ex playing with a new girl. I don't want to be like this, I am happy for him and want him to be happy and to find somebody that works for him not to mention I am in a happy committed relationship so why am I having so many issues with this?
Most of the issues seem to come from the idea of him playing with another girl, I don't care if he sleeps with her but when he hints at what he wants to do in a scene with her I get weird. My thoughts scream why couldn't he do that with me, why can he play so easily with someone else when he couldn't with me?
I know why this is happening. I feel as though I was never a good enough slave for him, as though our inability to do scenes and live that lifestyle is a negative reflection on me and it makes me think that I must be a bad person or ugly or just not attractive enough or submissive enough for people to want to do anything with me.
Yeap feeling inferior and just weird. This is something that is new to me. In the past I haven't cared when my ex got a new girl I was happy for them and I am happy for him to but theres this little voice inside my head that keeps screaming at me telling me that I wasn't good enough and that the same thing will happen with Master that in a few months/years time I won't be good enough for him anymore and that he will leave me.
Ra'anna
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