Thursday, March 27, 2008

Rules and Rituals M/s

Back when Master first became my Master he put some rules into place that at the time I hated. The rules about having to ask to eat or drink anything that wasn't water or that he had not placed in my drink bottle, the rule about having to ask to go to the bathroom, the rule about having to be waiting kneeling for him when he got home from work. Five months ago I hated those rules but now I find that I miss them. Those little things made me feel so much more controlled on a daily basis, those little things made me feel more like a slave and not just a sub playing at being a slave. I miss the nightly ritual of greeting Master when he comes home from work, I miss having to sms him to ask for permission to eat/drink or go to the bathroom. I miss these things but I don't want to ask him to put them back because I feel as though me asking for them would be topping from the bottom. I don't want to ask for these things because I know that they drive me crazy sometimes, I know that I have a hate love relationship with them and that the moment he makes them rules again I will groan and complain because of the reality of living by those rules but I need him to put things in place again that will help me remember my place and feel it on a daily basis. When I am eating something because Master told me too or because he said yes meal time becomes much more enjoyable.

Wanting (and not wanting) those rules back in place ties in to another topic that is on my mind. Rituals within the daily D/s lifestyle. I have read people that have rituals for everything, mealtime, sleep time just about anything you can think of there is a ritual to it/ Now as much as I love rituals thats going too far. What I would like is Master and I to have a few rituals of our own, there is a simple reason I would like this and its because ritual helps shift a persons brain to a particular mindset. The ritual of kneeling waiting to greet him in the evening helps shift from normal everyday vanilla life to the fact that yes I am a 24/7 slave. A bit like setting a scene with music and scent and lighting rituals set the scene for my daily life as a slave. I don't want a heap of rituals for every little thing what I would like is rituals for what I see as the important things in our day to day life. The evening greeting, one for when he is putting a collar around my neck and perhaps ones for weekend mornings when we wake up together and for bed time each night. Writing about this here, wanting this, making note of this however it making me feel as though I am topping from the bottom again. I know that I'm not, that I am just making my wants/needs heard and that I am living it up to Master to decide what he wants to do but still...

Ra'anna

No comments: